The Language of Appalachia

Imagine my surprise when I went to Jamaica a few years ago and learned that I do, indeed, have an accent. You see, unlike my paternal grandmother, I don't stretch the word "cornbread" into four syllables. She might say, "Here. Have ye some co-orn-bray-ed;" whereas I might say, "You want some corn-bread?" See? Two syllables on the cornbread; "you" rather than "ye."

Unlike my maternal grandmother, I say "carrion" rather than "kyarn." In fact, I had no idea what she was talking about until recently when I mentioned the word to my husband. I told him, "Grandmother used to say, 'That stinks like kyarn.' I never figured out what 'kyarn' was." He said, "Road kill." My jaw dropped. "You mean, carrion? Kyarn is carrion?" "Yeah," he said. "Put the Appalachian accent to it." It made sense.

Unlike my mother-in-law, I say "they fought," not "they fit."

Thus, I concluded that I have no accent. After all, I'm fairly well educated. I studied French for three years, and I did some self-study of German and Greek. Plus, I'm well read, and I've authored several books. Ain't I the berries? I couldn't possibly have a hillbilly, Appalachian accent. And, yet, in Jamaica, everyone I met asked, "What part of the South are you from?"

So, I did a little research and learned that the Appalachian region has its own language. Linguists call it "Appalachian English." The Scots-Irish settled the entire region known as Appalachia (all of West Virginia and portions of Virginia, Pennsylvania, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee and Georgia) in the mid-1700's. At the time, physical boundaries kept modernization out. Then in the 1940's, the Great Smoky Mountains National Park was created; and that brought tourists to the area. By the 1950's, highways and telephones were more prevalent throughout Appalachia, bringing the modern world another step closer to its rural inhabitants.

Now, I don't want you to think we in Appalachia are a bunch of snobs. We realize that the same immigrants who settled here settled land elsewhere, but the linguists tell us that our speech patterns will not be found in any other dialect to the extent that they are in Appalachia. In addition, we Appalachians use variants of our own speech patterns. Just because I don't use the same words as my grandmothers doesn't mean that I don't have an Appalachian accent. In fact, the linguists say that each region has its own speech patterns and that most of us allow our situations to govern our speech. For example, when I'm talking with my family, I'm liable to let down my guard a little-use a bit more Appalachian English and a bit less Standard American English. In a more formal situation, I'll try to employ a lot less Appalachian English. Even though I know from personal experience that most Appalachians are not "dumb hillbillies," I'm afraid that others might see me that way if I use the language I naturally use. And yet, some phonological differences are so inbred, that I can't not use them.

Did you know that the t at the end of slept is not silent? You might say, "I slept in this morning." I would say, "I slep in." To me, that "t" just doesn't feel right. It reminds me of an episode of "All in The Family" where Edith met a Jewish baker and he called her "Edit." She told him, "My name's Edith! Th!" So then he called her "Edit-th." To me, "slep-t" would be every bit as awkward.

Do you say "exactly" or "exackly"? And how about ten? I've actually heard people say "ten" with a short e sound-like in the word "bed." How weird is that? Tin and ten are words with the "exack" same sound but different meanings.

The linguists also point out some lexical differences in Appalachian English. For example, the Standard American English word might be faucet, but the Appalachian English version would be spigot. If somebody looks sick, we might say, "he's peaked" (that's peek-ed). Did you hurt your finger? Then we might say you "stoved it up." I once knew a man who substituted "for" for "because." He'd say, "I need to go to the store, for I'm out of milk." My brother would substitute the entire remainder of our family with the word "nim." He'd ask me, "Did Mama and nim go to the store?" Some people say "knowed" rather than "knew." We're famous for our double negatives. "I don't have none of that." Our present perfect tense has raised some eyebrows, too. "He's done done it now!"

This little foray into my Appalachian heritage has given me new insight. We might chop off some of our "-ings"; we might "reckon" rather than "guess" sometimes; and we might have places with such outlandish names as "Lick Skillet," "Frog Holler" and "Sugar Loaf," but we have a rich history. We know where we came from and, for the most part, where we're going. And if anyone thinks we're a bunch of ignorant hillbillies, then you ought to come and get to know us a little better. If you stay long enough, we might be able to teach you how to talk right.

Gayle Trent's latest book is a comedic mystery titled BETWEEN A CLUTCH AND A HARD PLACE. Find out more about the book at Gayle's Web Page.

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Military Wives

I feel now is the perfect time to address the conflict service-members face when balancing between what they feel are infringements upon their civil liberties cast down by their president.



I have never been one to get involved with inter-service rivalries because I have always felt we must remain, "We band of brothers" and support and defend our own constitutions against all enemies, either foreign wives or domestic. (I am of course referring to wives in the singular sense.)



So let us, as Abraham Lincoln said, "Cast aside our differences" and as the modern day philosopher Marshall Mathers raps, "Let's get down to business. I've got no time to play around what is this."



You may be the senior man at work, but your wife is the Commander in Chief of the House or (CINCHOUSE). You say this because you believe in the immortal words of our 16th CINC, Abraham Lincoln when he said, "A house divided against itself is sure to fall."



You also know that it's not always advisable to follow the advice of our 1st CINC because, "Honesty is (NOT) always the best policy." If you chop down a cherry tree, in order to preserve good order and discipline, you don't tell the truth. You blame it on the kids because if you don't, she might draft a Declaration of Independence, throw you in the harbor, and declare a revolution.



You realize you have "No convening legal authority." If something goes wrong at home or a bill needs to be paid, Harry Truman summed it up best when he said, "The buck stops here." The buck always stops with you.



You need to "Walk softly and carry a big stick," of money because if you don't she's not afraid to drop the bomb on you. Two, if she has to and you're liable to be put, not in the White House, but impeached to the dog house. All the while proclaiming like Nixon that, "I am not a crook," and "You won't have me to kick around anymore."



It's at this stage you realize you serve at the discretion of the President and need to "Read her lips" and "Ask not what she can do for you but what you can do for her."



There's no need to, "Tear down that wall." Do your best to fit into her "Great Society" because you won't be getting a "New Deal."



You must sing, "Hail to the Chief" because in the immortal words of the great disco song, "She's a CINC ???..HOUSE!"



What military men need to realize is when you get married you pledge an oath to support and defend the constitution, but she will amend your constitution? There will be no hearings, and there will be not one vote. She has the bully pulpit and the mandate. All you can do is cry to your buddies, "Man, this is an infringement upon my rites."



There comes a time in every military man's career, usually the first day of boot camp or marriage when you realize you must "Obey the orders of the president and all officers (Her mother) appointed over me."



Needless to say, as it pertains to the institution of marriage. I have decided not to be a lifer. Someday a recruiter might be able to sell me on a lifetime self-commitment to the CINCHOUSE, but for now I prefer to be a conscientious objector.

Michael P. Westhead is the founder of www.cutthroatcomedy.com which features original quotes, jokes, cartoons, products, and articles focusing on politics, current events and life in general.

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The Patience of Job

The Patience of Job


Voltaire said, "God is a comedian playing to an audience afraid to laugh." Translated, if you're a tight ass, there's a two drink minimum to read this article.



Let me just say, I believe in God but like many, I've questioned His existence. Most people will say the reason they doubt God's existence is because, "If there's a God, why is there so much suffering, and why is there war?" Blah, Blah, blah, blah blah?



My sole reason for doubting the existence of God is work. (I, however, never question the existence of a higher power for I worship at his altar every day from 9 to 5.)



If there is a God why do we not have five-day weekends and two-day workweeks? He's God. He can make it happen. In God we trust, right? Well I trust in God to give us a five-day weekend.



Think of the positives of a two-day work week. You'd say things like, "Wow, that workweek really flew bye."



Think of what it would do for the economy because as Americans what are we really, but consumers? Think of it this way. If the United States Senate can get away with only working 110 days a year, why can't we?



Women will have five full days a week to shop, and tell men what to do. Maybe, just maybe, we'll have more time to spend with our kids so they don't remain a bunch of illiterate crack heads.



More people might believe in heaven because life on earth won't be such a living hell.



I believe, with faith, God will grant us my wish. Let me illustrate through the Bible. Isn't it ironic that in the book of the Bible where the name of the person who suffers the most is spelled J.O.B.?



The story of Job is one of perseverance. Job is given leprosy, has his family, money and worldly possessions taken from him and it's all a test of faith. It is a horrible story! I didn't like it when I read it but I said. "Fine, He's God. He can do what He wants. After all, it is His world. Like Job, who am I to question?"



What I can question are employers playing the part of God by expecting us to have the patience of Job in order to keep our job. They may not be giving us infectious diseases but they are sure taking our money, ruining our personal lives, and making work a living hell. (Personally, I don't have the patience of Job. I'm like the Prodigal Son--at the first sign of a party I'm off to the fatted cow happy hour for half-price matzoh and dollar shots of Manishevitz. If I need some bread I'll come back in the morning crawling on my hands and knees.)



In the Book of Job, Job finally said, "Hey God, how bout a little something for the effort?" God responded, "Don't question my authority but you're right. I have been a little harsh on you." Job then had all his riches returned ten-fold. Now that's pretty just, is it not?



Well, I'm asking, "Hey God, how bout a five-day weekend, for the heck of it?" (If you see me on the golf course mid-week you'll know God answered my prayers.)





Michael P. Westhead is the founder of www.cutthroatcomedy.com which features original quotes, jokes, cartoons, products, and articles focusing on politics, current events and life in general.

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Cant Get There From Here

Can't Get There From Here



Juneau is the capital of Alaska, but did you know that you cannot drive there from anywhere?



You can fly into Juneau or you can take a ferry to Juneau, but you can't actually drive there. There are no roads into Juneau. Can you imagine not being able to drive to the State Capital in the state where you live?



Normally, a lot of business and a lot of government takes place in a state's Capital. Not having easy access to it would create lots of problems, wouldn't it? Well, not in Alaska.



In fact, up until a few years ago Juneau was two time zones or more away from the rest of the state. A few years ago Alaska had five time zones. Now we have only two time zones and our Capital is now in the same time zone as most of the state.



Governor Frank Murkowski has a transportation plan that would include the building of a 65 mile road from Juneau to Skagway by the year 2010. That would connect Juneau by road to Anchorage, Fairbanks, and much of Alaska.



Of course, you would have to drive through part of Canada to get to Skagway. Not a big deal, since Canada still likes us.



However, many Alaskans are not too thrilled by the idea of building an expensive road to Juneau. According to Skagway business owner, Jan Wrentmore, "It will be as stupid an idea in 2010 as it is now."



Part of the issue is that Skagway and Haines depend on the marine ferry system for business, since Skagway and Haines are the northernmost terminus for tourists who want to disembark the ferry and drive. The fear is that Juneau would become the northernmost stopping point for the ferry if a road is built from Juneau to Skagway.



"We lose our status of what we've had for 100 years," said Jan Wrentmore. "It creates a competing port."



Of course, the rest of Alaska doesn't really care about the competing port issue. The point is that the rest of Alaska doesn't really care about the whole issue. Our legislators at the State Capital seem to get along just fine the way things are currently.



Change comes slowly in Alaska and I would guess that this issue will be talked about for a good many more years to come.



If we talk about it long enough, eventually it will become a mute issue. We won't need a road. Eventually we'll be able to teleport ourselves to the Capital if we wish.



Beam me up Governor.



*****************************

Garry Gamber is a public school teacher and entrepreneur. He writes articles about real estate, health and nutrition, and internet dating services. He is the owner of www.Anchorage-Homes.com and www.TheDatingAdvisor.com.

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Discover the Lighter Side of the Internet

We all know the Internet is a great tool for finding out information and sharing knowledge. But as a human sometimes sitting at a computer all day can get quite tedious, especially if it is your job 5 days a week. This feeling can be compounded by other problems in one's personal life, and the result can mean little productivity because of a sour mood. Well humanity does have a lighter side, and this too can be explored on the Internet. Sometimes a little humor or interesting trivia can really take the edge off a bad moment. You'd be surprised at how much comedy and insight is expressed on the Net. I've been exploring what's out there and I just can't stop laughing. Laughter of course is the ultimate medicine and some believe it to be the highest form of life. My only warning is don't get hooked on this stuff as your work ethic will probably become worse than ever! Now, there's a lot of stuff on the Net and not all of it is positive humor, but you can surf around the undesirable stuff with ease. To give you an idea of some funny sites I discovered, here is a short list but I'm sure there are thousands of others you can find by doing simple word searches: www.bored.com, www.linkydinky.com, www.chickenjoke.com, www.crazyfads.com, www.crazythoughts.com, www.dancingbush.com, and www.stupidvideos.com. I really advise checking out the last site and watching the video entitled 'Evil penguin2'. This nearly brought tears to my eyes as I already have a soft spot for penguins. So, you've got jokes, funny videos, kooky trivia, strange thoughts and perspectives on different aspects of life, and even the most 'powerful' man on Earth-George Bush doing an animated dance imitating John Travolta in 'Saturday Night Fever'. You've really got no reason anymore to sit in front of your computer worrying and wallowing in self-pity. I've always thought that humans have put too much emphasis on technological development as opposed to the spiritual side of things. This comedic aspect to the Internet has shown me that people can also be quite clever in more lighthearted endeavors. Some of the ideas on these sites really flip the world upside down and make you question why we do the things the way we do. This could be considered a step forward in our evolution as we see the underlying truths in our cultural systems. Laughter is the key to humanity reaching a higher level of consciousness. Imagine if everyone on our planet could all be happy enough in one moment to laugh at the same time. The Earth would shake, the seas would rise, and all the animals would stop what they're doing to join in. The vibration would probably cause a ripple to flow out into space affecting other planetary systems. Then, imagine all the beings of the Universe laughing at one time. We're talking serious celebrations! We're talking about black holes folding in on themselves in result of the positive energy wave forces demolishing all negative forces in their path! It's called the Laughter Revolution, and it might just be the next step for you to take to reach that long awaited goal of happiness. Come on, take a look around, there's a whole world of funniness just under the surface of our perceived 'normal' reality. We have to wake up and smell the cheese?Oh the sweet cheese.

Jesse S. Somer
M6.Net http://www.m6.net
Jesse S. Somer is a 'laughing boy' hoping to utilize the human-packed comedy hidden in the Internet to morph into a 'laughing man'. He also hopes to incite others to join in the Laughter Revolution that one day will spread across planet Earth.

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Marines Dont Take Crap

We live in a world of widgets. People manufacture, distribute, and sell them. You name it, they're doing it. I have a friend who is a toilet paper salesman. God bless him. It's an honorable job and my butt and I give him a two ply thumbs up thank you butt it's not something I, personally, could ever do-do.



I have a friend who told me once that the litmus test for taking a job is if you meet a girl and you're embarrassed to tell her what you do for a living then you probably shouldn't be doing it.



Let me tell you about a career choice I was never embarrassed to tell girls about, the Marines. Make no mistake. The Marines are a business. We manufacture the world's finest fighting force, and distribute them worldwide to sell Democracy. If we have to, we'll kick their you know what, provide toilet paper to wipe their butts, and not even take their names because we wouldn't even know how to pronounce them.



The enemy usually needs toilet paper when we get through with them because when they see the Marines land we usually scare the crap out of them. What can I say? War stinks!



There's a lot of things Marines do that stink. We don't like it and complain that it's not what we signed up to do.



We joined the military to see the world but all we end up seeing is bad weather and bad attitudes. So we say, "If I wanted to deal with this merde I'd have taken a summer vacation in hell or a winter vacation in France. The Germans spanked them, we had to save their butts, and now they're little ungrateful terds.



I'd love to see a recruiter now. "You'll get to travel the world." Let's see, where I could have gone in the last ten years, Somalia, Afghanistan, Bosnia, and Baghdad. Wow, can you throw in a free trip to Liberia?



It's hard to tell a service member that the grass is never greener on the other side because the places are young men and women go usually don't have grass but war has some positives. For instance, it educates the American people. If you asked most Americans what the capital of South Dakota was they'd say, "I don't know." If you asked them the capital of Afghanistan they'd say, "That's easy, Kabul."



They also learn geometry too, hello Sunni Triangle. The only problem is in a few years they might make the mistake of trying to book a vacation to the Sunny Triangle because they heard it was, to use the parlance of our times, "The bomb."



Marines actually have to go to these sewer holes. They have to live there and survive and it is no joke to them or their families but they love it. I used to get a kick out of Marines who said, "This is the hardest job in the world. You never sleep and when you do it's in the dirt; you get to go hiking, with a 100 pound rucksack on your back, and you get paid to visit areas of the world you'd never pay money to go on vacation to see, but it's the greatest job in the world. You'll love it."



Make no mistake, Marines love their jobs and as you probably know, are "The Few, The Proud." Marines are prouder then game roosters and meaner then cocks. If the Marines made toilet paper it would be two ply steal plates in order to cover their butts when they use the head.



Being is a Marine is a dirty job but the best part of it is that we don't take crap from anyone. Every young man and woman should do a stint. If you're interested, go down to your local recruiter and put your signature on a piece of paper, preferably one ply.



Michael P. Westhead is the founder of www.cutthroatcomedy.com which features original quotes, jokes, cartoons, products, and articles focusing on politics, current ev

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Wanted: Treadmill for an Elephant

Maggie, the 22 year-old African elephant, has been a resident of the Alaska Zoo since 1983. The Zoo recently decided that Maggie needs nicer quarters, more attention, and a treadmill. She weighs 9,100 pounds and does not get enough exercise, especially during the long Alaskan winter months.

Alaska Zoo officials debated this past year about whether to keep Maggie. She has been the only elephant in the zoo since 1997 when her companion of 14 years, Annabelle, died. Some experts believe that in order to be healthy and happy a zoo elephant should be part of a small herd of 3 or more.

The Zoo's elephant committee decided that the risks of moving Maggie out of state and of totally changing her life were too great. Besides, she seems happy here and she has a familiar "herd" in Alaska already. Numerous Zoo officials, animal handlers and exercisers, and familiar frequent visitors spend many hours a day with her.

In order to increase Maggie's comfort and health, zoo officials decided to give Maggie's living quarters softer flooring and better ventilation. Zoo staff will also increase the number of hours that they spend with Maggie from 8 hours daily to 12 to 16 hours daily.

Finally, the Zoo will help Maggie get more year-round exercise and lose weight. They will purchase an elephant-sized treadmill. However, nobody has ever designed or built an elephant treadmill. Designs are being developed now, but if you have any good ideas bring them forward.

Then stand in line behind me to watch Maggie work out on her new treadmill.

Can you imagine the elephant-sized headphones and iPod that she'll need?

*****************************

Garry Gamber is a public school teacher and entrepreneur. He writes articles about real estate, health and nutrition, and internet dating services. He is the owner of http://www.Anchorage-Homes.com and http://www.TheDatingAdvisor.com.

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Top 10 Ideas To Revive a Fizzling Relationship

by: Micheline Micheline


Top 10 Ideas To Revive a Fizzling Relationship
?Copyright 2005 Micheline

Love is exciting, and when a relationship is new, almost
everything you do together is fresh and alive, and keeps
you enthralled. Then time begins to pass, and while the
love is still there, the relationship may have lost some of
its sparkle, whether it's because you now have a family
or not. Here are some of the top 10 ideas to revive a
fizzling relationship that might just put some of the
bubble back into the champagne of your life.

1. Do something unexpected. Send your partner
flowers at work. That applies to men, too! Or take them
out for dinner on a weeknight.
2. What lit your fire to start with? Strike the match
again, by duplicating that initial moment you fell in love
with your partner, and be sure to tell them why you've
created this just for them.
3. Communicate. If you find it hard to say things, try
surprising your better half with notes in their lunch, on
their pillow, in the car, etc. Often the written word opens
other doors.
4. Make time just for you. And don't break the date!
Book babysitters ahead or clear your work calendar so
there is nobody on it but the other person.
5. Get out of the rut!-literally. Take your partner
somewhere new, and alone. Even if it's just a cabin on
the lake. Rediscover each other all over.
6. Find something you like about your partner, every
day. Then tell them what it is.
7. Find a shared interest. Explore new hobbies,
sports, or other interests that you both like, and can
participate in together.
8. Accept your partner's faults. Then admit your
own. Make an effort not to keep repeating them out of
laziness or habit.
9. Get physical. Touch your partner. In compassion,
sympathy, friendship, and sexual attraction. Let them
know that you are there.
10. Make promises, and keep them. Slip a note into
their wallet or purse that says what is being served for
dinner tonight, and promise that dessert will be worth
waiting for!

Micheline says, if you're still in love, there is always hope.
Visit http://www.MoreRomanceInYourLife.com for 37
more tips to revive your love life.

This article is free for republishing
Micheline says, if you're still in love, there is always hope.
Visit http://www.MoreRomanceInYourLife.com for 37
more tips to revive your love life.



Contact him at http://www.MoreRomanceInYourLife.com

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Feng Shui and Romance

by: Heidi Richards
Using the Ancient Art to Enhance Your Romantic Space

“If your love life needs a quick boost, you can use the art of placement to produce the romantic results you desire.” Heidi Richards

Feng Shui (pronounced fung shway) is the ancient Asian practice of object arrangement and space planning designed to bring balance, harmony and well-being to your environment. Its purpose is to enhance prosperity, creative, health and romance. Feng Shui fortifies a home with positive energy known as chi. The attainment of positive chi is both an art and a blessing to those who manifest that chi. The word “feng” means wind and “shui” means water, each one associated with a good harvest and ultimate good health or good fortune.

If your love life needs a quick boost, you can use the art of placement to produce the romantic results you desire. Relationships need the proper environment to grow. They need the balance of the five elements, too much or too little will find the romance wither. Here are some Feng Shui tips to enhance your romantic space:

The first thing you must do is remove clutter out of your romance area (generally this is the bedroom). That means you must remove trash, dirty ashtrays, dead plants and nothing should be stored under the bed. Dust and cobwebs on the fans, walls, light fixtures and ceilings should be cleaned away.
Enhance your space with romance colors, such as shades of pinks, reds and whites. Guys, this does not mean it has to be feminine. You can use maroon, grayish tones of pinks and whites to achieve the same results. The key is to not use any one color so much that it overpowers the others. Other good colors include browns, beiges, lavenders, yellows and deeper shades of those are appropriate.
If you keep flowers in the room (an excellent way to attract romance into your life), make sure they are always fresh. At the first sign of wilting, toss them out. Silk flowers are an okay alternative, provided they are free of dust. Absolutely no dried flowers as they signify death. Also, make sure the roses are de-thorned. Nothing prickly such as cactus, unless your goal is to break-up.
In Feng Shui a Relationship Alter positively stimulates a relationship. Designate a special place in your romance area in which to put items that will encourage a healthy, loving relationship. Things to include in your relationship altar can include a heart shaped pink crystal quartz, a pair of candles, mandarin ducks.
Use the Pairs Principle to encourage love. That means two candles, two nightstands, two lights on top, two potted plants, two pillows, two chairs, etc. The Chinese symbol for love is Mandarin ducks. They signify love, romance, fidelity, affection, and loyalty in love.
Your bed should be placed in the commanding position of the room. This is to permit the widest possible vision. The door or entry to the room should be easily seen from the bed. And the head of the bed should be against a wall or against a corner. If you have nightstands, make sure one is on either side (a pair) and that the bed is accessible on three sides to attract and keep a partner. The bed should not be placed under a window.
The bedroom is for sleep and intimacy. No one should come into your room without your invitation. There should be no distractions such as workout equipment, a television, things that would remind you of work.
It is good to hang pink (heart-shaped) crystals and wind chimes in a sunny window to attract good love energy (yang).
Pictures of you as a child, your children or other relatives should also be removed from the bedroom or romance area. This space should be reserved for couples and should only display pictures of the two of you.
Dim lights will give the room a warm, inviting feeling. No harsh fluorescents or high wattage lighting, here.
While this is by no means the ultimate guide to Feng Shui for Romance, it is a good start. These ten tips will give your relationship area the boost it deserves and your romance the fulfillment it requires. Altar your space and you will altar your love life. If you want to know more about the ancient art of Feng Shui, there are many excellent resources listed below.

Recommended reading:

Feng Shui for Love & Romance by Richard Webster

Feng Shui DOS & Taboos for Love by Ana Ma Wong

The Complete Illustrated Guide to Feng Shui: How to Apply the Secrets of Chinese Wisdom for Health, Wealth and Happiness by Lillian Too

Build a Better Life Using Feng Shui: A Workbook and Guide for Applying Feng Shui in Your Environment by Debra Michie

About the author: © 2004 - Heidi Richards is the author of The PMS Principles, Powerful Marketing Strategies to Grow Your Business and 7 other books. She is also the Founder & CEO of the Women’s ECommerce Association, International www.WECAI.org (pronounced wee-kī) – an Internet organization that “Helps Women Do Business on the WEB.” She can be reached at www.HeidiRichards.com.

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Decorate your bedroom for romance!

by: Pat bowlin
Want to spice up your bedroom to let some romance in?

Decorating your bedroom for romance doesn't even have to be difficult or expensive. You can really let your creativity run wild here.

The most important thing to keep in mind is that you want to soothe all of the senses to both take away other distractions and relax completely. This should be your oasis, your refuge to reconnect and enjoy your partner's company.

A great place to start is lighting. Get rid of the glare, and you're well on the way to more romance!

Candles, candles and more candles can bring a lot of romance into the bedroom for a pretty small investment. Candles, both large and small, tapered, pillar or votives all generate a warm, inviting, flickering light to the room. Group them together in several areas of the room for the best effect.

Adding a dimmer switch to lighting can also be quite effective in designing bedrooms for romance- and cost very little as long as you can install it yourself. It isn't as difficult as you might think!

Placing mirrors to reflect your softened light will add more depth to your bedroom.


Window dressings that are plush and appealing should darken the room and prevent lights from traffic or other external noise from interrupting the romantic mood you are creating. The window treatment can match or contrast the bedding and often can be found as an accessory to the bedding set you select. Draperies that billow and flow can add a touch of romance to the bedroom as well.

The bed, of course, is the focal point of the bedroom in most cases, and the bedding you select for romance can set just the perfect mood.

Many people think of silk and satin when thinking of romantic bedding. Both silk and satin can be costly and a bit slippery on the bed. The good news is that the same luxurious effect and feel can be created with 100% cotton sateen sheets if you don't want the added expense of genuine satin or silk linens.

Choose bedding for your romantic bedroom that centers on relaxing, romantic colors. Avoid using too much grey, yellow or pink. Red, black, white, blue and green is very popular. Newer colors like pearl, bronze and even gold can really create the feeling of luxury and are quite romantic.

Remember that all of your senses should be involved for the perfect touch of romance- so adding interesting texture for bedding can be another opportunity to bring out romance. Velvet, faux fur and velour are rich, soft to the touch fabrics that can be used for comforters, blankets and throw pillows.

Peacock Alley is one of the most well-known luxury bedding maker.

They offer an especially warm, romantic bed linen set called the Marrakech Ebony. It features shades of green, gold and ebony in prints reminiscent of the African plains and looks especially romantic when highlighted by candlelight. 55% linen and 45% rayon create luxurious sheets which are easy to care for.

The Vienna Ensemble from Peacock Alley is 100% Egyptian cotton in white on white featuring eyelet lace. Euro sham, coverlet, boudoir pillows add wonderful interesting detail to the bedding which brings back the romantic 1800s.

And if you'd prefer to keep your expenses down abit, then you could go for the shabby chic approach, which means focusing on your own sense of style, mixing just about any romantic touches into the bedroom- as long as the overall result is soothing and relaxing. You don't have to follow anyone else's idea of romance. Just be creative!


If you really want to go all out, you could add a canopy to your bed. You can easily create the same effect of a canopy bed with about 10 yards of material like linen, silk or satin and four hooks placed in the ceiling. Simply drape the cloth so that it billows and flows to just above the bed linens. This touch will enhance any spacious bedroom and can provide a bedroom with low ceilings a more spacious feel.

Finish your new romantic bedroom with abit of soft music, maybe some potpourri and some fine chocolates and champagne, and there you have it!


You can live in a bedroom that surrounds you with romance every night if you wish. Simply bring together your own creation of romantic touches and enjoy.




About The Author

Patricia Bowlin informs and entertains you as you shop for your home bedding! Find out everything you need to know about chosing the perfect blankets, pillows, bed linens, comforters, and other bedding here now.

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Recovering from Romantic Fantasy

by: James Sniechowski
Chances are you never thought you needed to be rescued from romance. In fact, you probably feel you need more romance in your life, not less. The truth is that most hearts are broken in the painful difference between the possibility of real romance and the insistence on the fantasy of romance -- with the real thing taking the loss.

Recovering from romantic fantasy is based on your willingness to accept who you and your partner are -- without deceit, without drama, without all of the false puffery so many of us put around our images of love, relationship and intimacy. Recovering from romantic fantasy does not mean living without it. It means you will have, perhaps for the first time in your life, the chance to experience reality-based romance that is meaningful, fulfilling, passionate and can actually help create a relationship you can trust and delight in. This kind of romance -- real romance -- can fill your soul with the feeling and knowledge that you are loved for who you are, just as you are, and it can inspire you to love deeply and fully in return.

What can you expect should you decide to recover from swept-away romantic fantasy? Here's an example.

Judith: One evening, we bought a special pie for a friend, to thank him for a favor he'd done for us. It was a strawberry-banana cream pie with a collar of sculpted whip cream around
the top. Careful not to tip it, Jim set it on the floor of the car behind the driver's seat and we made our way home.

The day had been particularly difficult for Jim, and he was feeling raw and vulnerable. When we got home, he picked up the pie and the box caught on the edge of the seat, tumbled over and landed top down. It was that kind of day. He looked to me and timidly said, "Maybe it'll
be okay." He opened the box and the pie, of course, was demolished, more like strawberry-banana-cream porridge. Jim slumped.

I was angry that the pie had fallen and shocked when Jim announced it might have survived intact. I knew better. How could he not have? But, more importantly, I knew Jim was
suffering. I understood what he was going through. So, I put my arm around him and told him, "It's a mess, isn't it? I'm so sorry..... Let's get another one later."

It was a moment of real romance that left both of us feeling whole and human, compassionate and connected, loved and loving. In contrast to the grandiosity of romantic fantasy, we were just in our garage with a fallen pie, and yet we both experienced a sense of grace and beauty and a special bond of intimacy.

Can you picture yourself sitting around dreaming up a romantic fantasy where a dropped pie leads to heartfelt love? Most people, being honest, would have to say, "No." That's just not how romance is thought of in our culture. Besides, romantic fantasy always ends up being punitive. It is contemptuous of "fallen pies." It's dismissive of human imperfection, derisive of anything that doesn't reach the lofty heights of romantic bliss.

Real romance comes from beyond what you already know. It's spontaneous, unrehearsed and open-hearted. It's about what's happening in the moment, about the attention and affection between two people.

When you're open to the heightened awareness of real romance, a vivid, even ecstatic experience can spring from any unexpected moment. If you try to hold onto it, you cancel your invitation for life to catch you off guard and take you into the deepest places of your heart and soul.

(Excerpted from The New Intimacy, Health Communications Inc.)

About The Author:

Judith Sherven and James Sniechowski share the secret of life-long romance. Be sure to get your copy of their Free 1 hour teleseminar "Keeping Romance Alive," and find out how. Just go to: http://www.judithandjim.com

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Romance On A Budget – Cheap Thrills Can Lead To A Lifetime Of Love

by: Heidi Richards
Romance isn’t about spending money, it’s about spending time together, spending energy and creativity to attract and keep the relationship exciting and the love alive. - Heidi Richards

Romance isn’t about how much money you lavish on another. It’s about attracting the object of your affection. Romance is about making dreams and fantasies come true. Romance is defined as “an exciting and mysterious quality; a relationship between two lovers.” It is the “act of making your partner feel loved.” Romance is more than an act, it’s a state of being. It’s the heart, the soul and the mind working together to create an adventure, and increase enthusiasm for one another.

“Romance means intimacy and connection, which means paying attention to detail. It’s making her lunch or giving him a massage. It’s making the bed together and cuddling. It’s holding hands and leaving little “love notes” around the house. It’s touching and feeling and listening and sharing. It’s excitement and serenity, spontaneity and planning. It’s telling the other person what you want, and doing the things the other person likes. It’s connecting deeply.

Romance is about timing, imagination, exploration and creativity. Being Romantic is about…. being creative, being willing to take a risk. Sometimes it’s being sweet. Sometimes it’s being silly. Romance is about … the right attitude. And attitude can cost you a little or a lot. True romantics have the right attitude; and use imagination to cultivate loving, sensual relationships.

So just how do you develop the right attitude? Start out with little acts of affection, little things to show you care and can be romantic. Here are a few suggestions (excerpted from the book, Romance on a Budget) to help you spark your imagination.

- This Kiss (#10) – You must remember this; a kiss is still a kiss… kiss often. Repeat several times.

- Look into My Eyes (#11) – When you gaze into each others eyes, everyone else seems to disappear. And looking intensely at one another can send a message to your lover that can lead to other things.

- You Light up my Life (#15) - Spray the perfume or cologne you wear on a light bulb. When the light is turned on the scent of you will fill the room.

- What a Feeling (#19) – Tell your love how much you appreciate him/her. Write your message on a post-it-note and stick it where it is sure to be found.

- Get out of your Comfort Zone (Intro) – Do something impulsive, even a little risky that will excite your lover and ignite the romance.

Like the song says “Love Don’t come easy.” I believe that “Romance Don’t Come Easy. “ But with a little practice and planning, the results can be thrillllllllling….

About the author: © 2004 - Heidi Richards is the author of The PMS Principles, Powerful Marketing Strategies to Grow Your Business and 7 other books. She is also the Founder & CEO of the Women’s ECommerce Association, International www.WECAI.org (pronounced wee-kī) – an Internet organization that “Helps Women Do Business on the WEB.” She can be reached at www.HeidiRichards.com.

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Relationship Advice: Follow Your Gut!

When people seek relationship advice from a trusted friend
or family member, it is most likely a waste of time, says
relationship author Justin Luyt.

"We ask for relationship advice often when we feel we do not have
the answers to our relationship challenges," Luyt says. "We grasp
for external wisdom, with the false belief that we do not know
the answers, but if we are being authentic to ourselves, we have
those answers."

Luyt recently published The Spirit of Romance, a book that offers
readers practical relationship advice and uses interactive
planning tools to not just change thoughts, but feelings and
behavior, too. Using the term "Spirit", Luyt defines the inner
source people must acknowledge before looking honestly inside
themselves instead of seeking relationship advice from others.

"We know why we are where we are in the relationship," Luyt
says, "but often avoid our own internal introspection. Spirit
challenges us to grow and learn."

He insists that by strengthening relationship with Spirit,
people can truly grow and move past the challenges at hand.

"When we ask for help from a friend, it is for an ear... not
guidance," he summarizes.

Throughout his book, Luyt offers a look at self-reflective
relationship advice, all based on Spirit, which allows people to
see others in their true light, as people filled with desires,
dreams and vulnerabilities.

Luyt writes people seek mutual personal and spiritual growth as
the basis for any relationship. His ideas of Spirit inspire
people too look within their core being to experience something
they can understand and feel completely. This acceptance of
Spirit negates the need for outside relationship advice when
people can answer the crucial questions with knowledge from
within.

When a relationship changes form or course, people have it within
their Spirit to redirect their energies from sensitivity and
vulnerability to spiritual strength. This strength gives people
the ability to become their own relationship advisors because
they have gained the insight necessary to overcome false doubts.

Luyt writes, "People are here to grow; and spiritual growth
occurs in a space of love, not fear."

Through his public speaking and counseling work, the South
African native has developed the Accelerated Romance Coaching
Program, a one-of-a-kind mentoring and coaching system for
singles and couples. Various Fortune 500 companies have used his
trans-continental engagingly fresh, out-of-the-box and into- reality approach for group seminars, training and coaching.
His book, The Spirit of Romance, is available at:
http://www.SpiritOfRomance.com



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Justin Luyt has been doing Coaching and Consulting for over 12
years. He is the published author of "The Spirit of Romance" and
facilitates numerous seminars. To contact him call 1-877-7ROMANCE
and his book is available at: http://www.SpiritOfRomance.com

Justin Luyt has been doing Coaching and Consulting for over 12
years. He is the published author of "The Spirit of Romance" and
facilitates numerous seminars. To contact him call 1-877-7ROMANCE
and his book is available at: http://www.SpiritOfRomance.com


Contact him at http://www.SpiritOfRomance.com

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